Episode # 70 – The dragon of chaos

We all have to go through tragedy in our lives; no one is exempt, and sharing those stories not only reminds us that we all have our struggles, but they also connect us on a deeper level, and they become a part of our healing process.

A few weeks ago, I met a couple from Belgium, Pieter and Eva. Both of them had very successful careers: Pieter as a CEO and Eva as a lawyer. A few years ago, the dragon of chaos appeared in their lives and presented itself in the form of a brain tumor and Parkinson’s disease. At that time, Pieter was in his late 40s.

I had the privilege of spending a week with them, and I got to know them better. They spoke openly and vulnerably about the challenge they were presented with, how it changed their lives, and how it sent them on a different path, not only as a couple but also as individuals.

Pieter is in the advanced process of inventing a device that can stop the effects of Parkinson’s disease, and Eva started a foundation called Move2Wholeness, focused on the art of moving towards mental and physical well-being. Not only did their lives change, but the impact they are having on other people’s lives is enormous, and the path they are on now has a huge impact on adding value to the world.

When tragedy and adversity enter our lives and the spirit of darkness becomes more present, we’re also given an opportunity to prevent it from turning into total chaos and hell. What if the gift you are destined to share with the world can only be found where you least want to look?

Eventually we all come to this place where we have to make a decision to either voluntarily enter the cave or wait until we are thrown in and get destroyed by the dragon of chaos. There is an old Christian philosophy that says that if you voluntarily accept your suffering, you can simultaneously transcend it. It turns out that physiologically, if you were forced to accept a certain kind of challenge, your body would go into emergency preparation mode and you’d become stressed, and that stress would cause you physiological damage.

But if you are presented with the same challenge and you accept it voluntarily, your brain doesn’t produce stress hormones, and completely different physiological systems kick in.

When I said goodbye to Pieter and Eva and wished them both good luck in slaying the dragon, Pieter told me he wasn’t going to slay the dragon but instead take him in his arms and cover him with all the love he could give because the dragon had something important to tell him, and if he could become really quiet and cover him with love, he could hear what the dragon had to say to him.

We all have to deal with the dragon of chaos in our lives; it’s inevitable, and it can present itself in many different ways: a serious illness, the death of a loved one, a divorce, betrayal. Although we don’t have a choice in the timing or the way the dragon will present itself, sooner or later we have to accept its presence and find a way to deal with it. We can get angry, sad, or deny its existence, but maybe the right way to deal with it is with love.

Love has the reputation of being the invincible light, scaring the darkness away force from above and makes us capable of doing anything. What if the dragon is here to share an important message with us, and the only way to receive it is through love? Maybe we can see the dragon as an uninvited guest knocking at our door, and instead of doing our best to keep the door closed and being scared, all we need to do is open the door, welcome it into our home, cover it with love, and be curious to hear what he has to say.